Last night following the baseball game, I stopped in the bathroom before heading out of the park like I usually do. The following would only happen to me...
I shuffled into the next available stall, dreading having to peel my jeans off thanks to the excessive heat of the entire evening. I shut and locked the door, hung up my bag, and set my phone and souvenir cup down. Just before turning around to peel of my icky jeans, something caught my eye, and I stopped. Dangling from the bottom of the sanitary seat cover container on the back wall was a spider. Oh.Em.Gee.
I stood there stunned for a few seconds and attempted to rationalize this situation. It's hot, and I'd really like to pee and head out so I can get to some air conditioning. There's a line of people waiting for the bathroom, and I don't want to walk out of this stall to then cut in front of the next person in line to take a different one while admitting to the entire bathroom that I'm this level of crazy. It's ok. It's a spider that's way on the back wall. It won't bother me. I'm just going to turn around and quickly go to the bathroom and get out of here. Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to turn around.... right now. Turn around. Ok, on three, I'm going to turn around and just get this over with. One. Two. Two and a half... thre---
OMG I CAN'T TURN AROUND. I can't turn my back on this spider. As soon as I do, IT WILL JUMP ON ME AND KILL ME, and I'll be TRAPPED in this little stall PANTSLESS. And I'll die. Pantsless at the ballpark. THAT CAN'T BE MY LAST MOMENT.
NOPE.
So I left the stall and ran into a new one that was much safer and spider free (I checked. A LOT.) Obvi. Because had I stayed in the original stall, that spider would have jumped on me and killed me as soon as I turned my back on it.
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