UPDATE on It’s Not the Apocalypse, People… Or Is It?

Just as an update to last night's post...

Apparently, my traumatic experience was nothing compared to some other people's.  My boss didn't get home until 1 am.  My... whatever he is didn't get home until 3:45 am.  He spent EIGHT HOURS trying to get home.  OMG.  He said people had just abandoned cars all over the place.  That's INSANE.  Come on, people.  Gotta be smarter than that.

My ex-boyfriend's boss/good friend picked me up as scheduled this morning, and we were delighted to see my car was exactly where I'd left it in that parking lot.  (Ok, so I kind of abandoned my car, too... but I did it in a parking lot, not in the middle of the interstate.  TOTALLY different.)  It took me forever and a day to get in to work because traffic was inexplicably awful, but it was an uneventful drive.  YAY!  A little bit into this drive, I learned the county wasn't opening until noon.  I made it to work 2 hrs and 20 min early.  Whomp whomp.

Also?  The Salters were their typical selves sometime between when I got home last night and when I left my house this morning.  Their stairs, sidewalk, and all around their cars was bone dry, and there was salt everywhere.  It was so dramatically dry that my ex-boyfriend's boss/good friend totally noticed and commented.  I explained that was just how they rolled.  I was a little worried about them after the dusting we had last Saturday because I didn't see one spec of salt.  Good to see they're back to their old ways.

It’s Not the Apocalypse, People… Or Is It?

I had plans after work tonight that I’ve been looking forward to for a few weeks… I was just getting together with a few Nats fans to enjoy life, talk baseball, and have an adult beverage or two.  This morning, I saw that some snow was expected in the area this evening, but from what I read, I really just thought it would be a few flurries and that would be it.

After work, I headed in the direction of my get together, and stopped at Target and Petsmart on the way to grab a few things for the snow this weekend.  I’m horrible, and I generally don’t have food in the house, so when I see that I’ll be trapped and I won’t be able to order anything, I have to go shopping for just a few essentials.

I picked up another box of Sudafed (and got myself one step closer to being on a DEA watch list), then thought peanut butter sandwiches would be a simple quick thing I could throw together this weekend.  I turned down the bread aisle, and BAM: 

Apparently the apocalypse is coming, and I missed the memo.  Really, people??  REALLY?!  Yes, a lot of snow is coming, but we’re all likely to just be trapped in our homes for the weekend.  Snow is supposed to stop Saturday night/Sunday morning, leaving all day Sunday to clean up.  Unless you live in the middle of nowhere (in which case, you’re not shopping at this Target), you should be able to move about on Monday.  There is NO REASON all the bread should be gone.  We’re not having to bunker in some kind of make shift nuclear fallout shelters.  It’s two days.  Come on.

I did manage to find some good bread (it was on sale through cartwheel, too!), and got the rest of my items without any problems.  Then I ran next door and picked up some dog food and a rawhide for Coop for the weekend, and I headed out to my get together.

I noticed after wresting almost 40 lbs of dog food into my car that it had started snowing.  I didn’t think much of it, since I thought it was just going to blow through.  But after about 15 minutes, I saw that it was starting to pile up on the road in between the lanes.  Hmmm.  That seemed… alarmingly fast.  I looked up Capital Weather Gang, who are the only people I read when it comes to snow, and I learned that I was completely wrong about this evening’s “flurries.”  A winter weather advisory was in effect, and shit was potentially going to get real.  Um.  Crap.

I was literally in no man’s land in terms of trying to get home.  I notified my group that I wasn’t going to be able to make it, and headed towards the interstate.  FOUR HOURS LATER, I finally made it home.  I slid all over the road on numerous occasions, almost cried at least three different times, and pretty much thought I was going to die.  Apparently, the apocalypse is happening, and it showed up 2 days early.  Admittedly, I don’t handle snow well, and I definitely don’t drive in it, so this was a horrific experience from start to finish.  The worst part?  I didn’t actually make it all the way home.  Once I got off the interstate near my house, I really started sliding around, and I got too scared to drive anymore.  I ended up having to call my ex-boyfriend’s boss/good friend and asked him to come rescue me.

My ex-boyfriend’s boss/good friend.

Yup.

He’s super nice and lives close to me, so he came and picked me up and took me home.  He’s very sweetly also taking me back to my car in the morning, too.  So, thank God for ex-boyfriend’s bosses/good friends…. However weird it is when you have to call them asking for help.  They’re certainly preferable to calling your ex-boyfriend, which would only be slightly less horrible than dying in a snow related crash.

Throwback: That Time I Fell Into the Hidden Lake

Bad luck and crazy "how on earth could this actually be happening" stuff is nothing new, so I figure I'll sprinkle some throwback posts in now and again with past ridiculousness, because... who doesn't love reliving awful, horrible things?

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So, I’m fairly accident prone (understatement).  I’ve sprained both my ankles numerous times, and I’m fairly certain I’m missing ligaments in both of them.  While I couldn’t really walk in heels before, now I can’t even really stand in them.

One day, several years ago, I had one of my most epic falls.  It was pouring rain, and I was at work going to pick up a car from carpool.  Given the heavy rain, and my propensity to melt when I get wet (I am made of sugar…..), I ran from the car into the building.  Unfortunately, the area in front of the door is painted concrete.  For those of yall who are unaware, painted concrete is very very slippery when wet.  So there I am, attempting to dart into the building.  I hit that painted concrete in my flip flops and BAM! down I go.  I quickly got up, as an audience witnessed my horribly embarrassing moment, and I wanted to show them that I was totally fine.

As I got into the building, the wet started to quickly set in.  While I had simply fallen on a flat surface, my jeans were soaked to the pointed where I was fairly sure I’d fallen into a hidden lake that no one could actually see.  All down my left leg, and the left side of my ass were completely saturated, at a level where I began to waddle.  I popped into the bathroom hoping the “green” focus of my employer would mean there was a hand dryer instead of paper towels, figuring I could just sort of stick my ass up under the dryer for a bit.  No such luck.

I waddled downstairs to pick up a car.  The carpool guy could tell something was wrong, so I told him I fell and my pants were soaked.  He politely listened to my story and suggested I go home to change.  Not happening, as I live 25 miles from work, and traffic getting back would take me at least an hour and a half.  As I walked away with a key to an environmentally friendly prius, the carpool guy was able to see the full extent of my situation.  I heard hysterical laughter (the first, but not the only time related to this incident), and turned to see him doubled over as he gestured towards my extremely wet pants.  Glad I could make his day better.

I waddled downstairs into the bowels of the garage to the car.  Thinking of nothing but my strong desire to have dry jeans, an idea popped into my head.  I struck out with the hand dryer in the bathroom, but there is a heater and vents in the car.  DING!  Brilliant!

The cars are located in what can only be described as a terrifying garage, full of tight spaces and not enough room for two cars to pass each other.  This car was tucked away in its own parking spot with some not quite waist high walls around it.  I unlocked the car, took a quick look around, and peeled my wet jeans off.  In the car, I turned on the heater and fan on full blast, and spread my jeans out over the dash in a desperate attempt to dry them.

…….

…………….

What felt like EONS had gone by while I sat sans pants in the car.  They’ve GOT to be better, right?!  They have to be.  This was a brilliant idea.  Right?

I took another look around, and snuck out of the car, as I couldnt shimmy into my jeans while sitting in the tight confines of the driver’s seat of a prius.  I was quickly met with the horrible, cold, sopping wet, clammy feeling of jeans that had in no way dried.  Not so much the brilliant idea.

Now I’m more uncomfortable than I was to begin with… a feeling that only increased as I sat back down in the car.  I drove back to the office, and painstakingly got out of the car to run through the parking lot into the building, as it was still pouring rain.  I’m now covered in old, clammy wet AND fresh, just fell from the sky wet.

I walked into the building looking like a drowned rat – wet hair, wet shirt, SOAKED left side of my jeans, only to be met with the hysterical laughter of my coworkers.  I then told the above story, which they couldn’t get enough of.

To make matters worse?  About 20 minutes after I got back to the office, a well-meaning coworker excitedly told me we had a dryer, so she could fix my pants.  GREAT!  Only, I don’t have any other pants to wear while mine dry.  So…. Yeah.

I swear this kind of stuff only happens to me.

Doctors are Ridiculous

Another day, another bad experience in a doctor's office waiting room.  I seriously don't get why they get to be such delicate geniuses, and the rest of us have to bend to their will.  I get that they went to med school and all, which isn't easy, but I have a life and things I need to accomplish as well.

I took a client to the doctor today, and we were kept in the waiting room for over an hour.  (!!!)  This was the exchange I had with the woman sitting at the front desk:

Me:  hi.  our appointment was an hour ago.
Front Desk Bitch:  yup. [blank stare]
Me:  ....
FDB:  [blank stare]
Me:  .... you're running that far behind?
FDB:  yup.
Me:  ....
FDB:  [blank stare]
Me:  ....do you have an eta?
FDB:  nope. [blank stare]

So.  Yeah.  Great.  THANKS!  No apology for how late they were running.  No half assed guess at when we would maybe be seen by the magical doctor.  Nothing.  Just a blank stare, and an attitude like how dare I bother her with such nonsense.

A friend told me that she will send bills to doctors for her time when this happens.  THAT IS AMAZING!  I wish I could do something like that.  I definitely couldn't get away with it when it's work related, but I'm totally going to have to try that in my own life the next time I'm kept waiting forever and a day past my appointment time.

The good news?  We were called back shortly after the wonderful exchange above happened, and we weren't kept waiting for very long in the exam room.

The bad news?  I had a brand new coworker shadowing me, and the client wasn't comfortable having her come back with us, so she had to sit in the waiting room.  Whomp whomp.

The Universe is an Evil Bitch Sometimes

My parents are moving essentially 2 states away from me.  Tomorrow.  I’m single and don’t really have anyone else who is obligated to help me in times of need, and I’m not very good at adulting in general, so I’m kinda freaking out about all of this.  As if to drive all of this home, my car once again had engine issues today.  What a lovely way of reminding me YOU’RE ALL ALONE!

I really needed to get out of my house, so I was headed up to see Lulu.  I stopped at 7-11 to get coffee, and as I was pulling out to head toward Lulu I felt a horrible, all too familiar rumble.  It’s like I was suddenly sitting in a nascar… in my tiny car with a 4 cylinder lawn mower engine.  I knew what was coming.  I looked at my dash, and yup.  The check engine light came on and started flashing at me.  Awesome.  I was past the point of no return, so I had to finish pulling out onto the main road and drive down to the next gas station.  Terrifying.  I turned the car off, waited, and turned it back on.  Last time, this magically fixed everything so I could at least drive it.  This time?  Not so much.  Of course not.  Thank God my parents are still around, and thank God they’re not planning on taking my mom’s car with them tomorrow.  They came and picked me up so I could get her car, and then I headed back to the gas station to deal with this mess.

The tow truck cost me $175 to go about 15 minutes up the road.  Are you kidding me?!  The guy told me it was because of bad traffic when he gave me the quote on the phone.  We ended up dealing with no traffic, but the tow truck driver charged me the quote I had been given over the phone anyway.  Note to self – don’t use this tow company again.

At least I currently have a car to drive around and a way to get to work tomorrow.  I guess I’ll figure out how to actually pick up my car when that time comes… hopefully at some point tomorrow.

YAY! for adulting!

:-/

....For fun background information, this is the third time this has happened to me.  The first time, I was in Charlottesville.  On a Sunday. (Although I was headed back from Lynchburg, so it could have been so much worse.)  The second time I was at my house attempting to go to Lulu's.  Turning the car off and back on somehow fixed everything, so I was at least able to drive it to the repair place, but... not awesome.  That was also on a Sunday.  Today is Sunday.  Hmmm.

The last two times, it's been a misfire in one of the cylinders, and they've replaced the ignition coil.  I'm betting its that same issue in one of the two remaining cylinders.  At least that's hopefully what it is.  Not like that's an awesome issue to have, but at least I know what I'm dealing with.  Fingers crossed...

So… I Got Trapped In A Bathroom Today

Yep.  That’s right.  I got trapped.  In a bathroom.  What.  The.  Hell.

I was running to our weekly meeting and stopped for maybe only the 2^nd time in the bathrooms in the hallway near the nurse’s office.  Not sure why I never use these, but I can clearly never use them again.

After doing… what one does in a restroom, I attempted to leave.  Simple enough, right?  Nope.  I pulled on the handle.  It turned as it should have.  But… the door wouldn’t open.  Nothing.  I re-locked and unlocked the door several times.  Retried.  Nothing.  NOTHING.  I was officially trapped in the bathroom.  Now… this bathroom is a decent size, but suddenly, as the realization that I was trapped came crashing down on me, the walls began to close in.  Quickly.  Panic set in.  HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE HAPPENING TO ME?!  It also dawned on me that I didn’t have my phone and had no way of getting any kind of help.  So I started to beat on the door and scream.  In a very frantic fashion.  Thankfully, a coworker was walking by on her way to the meeting, and she opened the door with no problem.  And then looked at me like I was an idiot because I wasn’t able to do that very same thing for myself.  I have no idea how she was so easily able to open the door when I couldn’t.  Mind boggling mystery.  But thank god she did.

Never ever again will I use these bathrooms.  For serious.  They’re clearly evil.

Because Sometimes You Need Help Just Not Giving a Fuck

I've been outdone at work today from about 5 minutes after I walked in the door.  I'm clearly irritable (I didn't get much sleep last night), and I realize this is not the fault of anyone around me, so I'm trying my hardest to not stand up at my desk and just scream STFU.  The struggle is real.

I saw this for about the millionth time on my fb feed, and finally clicked on it.  Pretty much amazing.  Too bad it was too loud around my desk for me to really hear it, but at least I know it's out there, and I can try to start my mornings off at home with this little meditation.