I skipped off to Target after work to finally pick up my
needed Sudafed (and likely get one step closer to getting on some kind of
federal watch list). This was a simple $4
purchase at the pharmacy and should have been an easy in and out at Target.
But it’s never an easy in and out at Target, is it?
Since shopping is my cardio (legit – my fitbit is always
smiling at me when I’m shopping. This
smile is a rare occurrence), I wandered around Target from one side to the
other, up and down almost every aisle because, well, it’s Target. I turned a
corner and found myself face to face with this:
I was overcome with an immensely strong feeling of I MUST
HAVE THIS. I’m not entirely sure why,
but, I mean, look at it. It’s
awesome. The price, however, seemed
slightly high for a porcelain rhino head, so, I very begrudgingly walked
away. It almost killed me, but I did it.
Then I walked past this gem:
If this was Mikey, he totally would have come home with
me. No joke. Who doesn’t need a giant teenaged mutant
ninja turtle?!
I managed to make it to the checkout with just one normal
grown up item in my basket, and my already purchased Sudafed. Borning.
Adulting – it’s seriously no fun.
The woman in front of me pulled four (FOUR!) 10ish lb spiral
cut hams out of her cart and plops them on the checkout belt with a few other
items. She became extremely agitated
when her hams were rung up:
Crazy Ham Lady:
Um. No no. Wait.
Those are supposed to be $6.99.
The entire bar all the way across where they were said $6.99.
[how the hell can a 10lb spiral cut ham only be $6.99?!]
Cashier: Um. Ok.
They’re ringing up for about $20 each. [flips call light on]
Manager: What’s the
problem? These are $1.99/lb.
CHL: These were
advertised at $6.99. I’m paying the
advertised price. The whole bar all the
way across said they were $6.99.
Manager: [holding
back laughter] I can’t sell you these for $6.99. He’s going to check on the sign.
CHL: Oh yes you will
sell them for the advertised price. I’m
paying the advertised price.
Manager: These are
$1.99/lb. I’m going to go look at the
sign. [starts walking away]
CHL: well, I took a
picture of it. Don’t you think you can
just go change it now.
They cleared out CHL’s stuff because she said she wasn’t
going to buy anything if she wasn’t going to get the advertised price on her
40lbs of ham. She stood to the side and
waited, and I was able to check out.
Truth? I was a little sad they
bypassed her because I kind of wanted to see how this hot mess was going to end.
I bought my rational and sane purchase, and went out to my
car. After sitting for just a minute, curiosity
got the best of me and I went back in and wandered over to the grocery section.
There were 3 different price tags on the ‘bar’ CHL spoke of
where the ham was. Only one of the tags
was for $6.99, and it was very clearly labeled as the cost of the chicken
breast. WTF.
Since I was back in the store, I had to go look at the rhino
head again. I texted a few friends. One asked me if it matched my motif at
home. Um. Could this possibly match anyone’s
motif?! No, of course not. But, that should have zero bearing on this
discussion. Another friend told me that
she felt very strongly that I needed this rhino head in my life.
Now? The more I sit around and think about it, the more I
want it. I am kinda starting to feel
like this rhino head is everything I never knew I needed in my life. I’ve even asked the google what I should name
my rhino. Brutus came up, which is what
had first popped into my head. But then
I found the suggestion Luther Francisco.
I kind of really love this.
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