Sunday, December 27, 2015

Cooper Did the Shuffles Gonzalez!

We have a family tradition that I continue to force on my parents because, well, I love it.  I’m not entirely sure how they feel about it, but… I don’t really care (sorry not sorry).  Every year for Christmas, I get them a new game so we can have some family game night fun.  I love playing games (because I’m kind of a dork) and I think I have this hope that as they continue to amass the games that I force on them year after year, Christmas game night will maybe turn into random game nights sprinkled throughout the year.

(This hasn’t really happened yet, but fingers crossed that one day it will….)

To keep with tradition, I got the Urban Dictionary game this year, and we played yesterday.  There were moments where it could have been a slightly awkward thing to be doing with my parents, but overall, it was fun. And, I learned possibly the greatest phrase I’ve ever heard:  Shuffles Gonzalez.  My immediate life goal became to somehow work this phrase into my daily life.

Luckily, I got my first opportunity today.

We took Coop to the beach for a long walk.  This was his second trip ever – we hauled ass to the beach attempting to outrun sunset on Christmas eve.  That trip was pretty short lived, as the sun did set shortly after we arrived, forcing us to leave.  Cooper seemed amazingly happy, so we planned to take him back today because the weather looked like it was actually supposed to be rain free (spoiler – it wasn’t, but it didn’t rain on our walk).

I knew Cooper would have to poop when we got there because that’s just what he does.  He gets so keyed up and excited/anxious about anything new or generally fun that it immediately impacts his GI tract.  His need was evident as soon as we stepped onto the beach.  However, he was so OMGSMELLSANDPEOPLEANDWATERTHATEWICANTDRINKANDOMGALLTHESTUFF that he wouldn’t actually take the 30 sec to stop and just go, so he shuffle Gonzalez-d his way through an hour and a half walk up and down the beach.  How do I know this?  Because he would randomly drop a small piece of poop here and there as he failed at holding it all in.  So I had to go our entire walk carrying a slightly poop-filled bag in my hand.  Awesome.

When we got off the beach and were headed back to the car, I tossed the barely used poop bag in the garbage because I wasn’t sure I’d find another trashcan between there and the car, and I knew I couldn’t just toss the bag into the backseat with me.  I went to the dog cleanup station to grab and new bag and was horrified to discover that all three bag rolls were empty.  Yeah, because it was almost 80 degrees on Christmas, and everyone and their brother was at the beach.  Awesome.

Not 45 seconds after I threw away my bag and discovered that there were no new bags to be had, Cooper gave in and finally squatted to poop.  Of course he did.  Luckily my mom had a bag in the car, but I had to stand guard by the poop and wait for her to get back.  Awesome.

BUT, despite the horror of having to stand guard over poop while a million people walked by, I got to use shuffles Gonzalez.  And Coop had a ton of fun.  Overall?  Big win.

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